Choose Hope not Fear

Let me share a true story with you. It was the early 90s and my brother had gone back to college as a more mature student to study for a third degree. One day after finishing classes, he realized that he had no money for transportation back to his apartment, which was situated about 30 miles from campus. He decided to start walking, thinking that just maybe he might just be lucky enough to get a free ride at some point. He took short cut after short cut and after one and half hours of walking and about 20 minutes shy of his destination (by car), he passed by a house where there was a man standing outside who was smiling at him. The man greeted my brother and told him that he had been waiting for him to pass by. My brother looked behind him thinking that this complete stranger must have been speaking to someone else. He wasn’t. The man calmly explained to my brother that the “Lord” had revealed to him during his prayer time that there was a man coming that way that evening and that he should prepare a monetary gift for him. He duly did and handed my brother an envelope of money, which ended his suffering and took care of his immediate financial predicament that day.

It was last summer, when that same brother, who is 11 years my senior and the eldest of my six siblings and I, paid me a visit from Africa. He spent most of his six weeks of annual leave to do so and it was a wonderful bonding experience for us both as we had not spent much time together since 1993 when I lived with him briefly after graduating from college and securing my first job in Ibadan, Nigeria. During his recent visit to America, we would talk well into the night, reminiscing about our childhood days and philosophizing about life issues, an area of discussion we both enjoyed tremendously and one where we sometimes turned to the scriptures for clarity. It was during one of those many discussions that he first told me the story that I have just shared with you. It’s a story that continues to have an impact on me as it serves to underscore that there are mysteries in this world that cannot be explained by human reasoning.

Whenever I feel like giving up on something, or whether I am just worrying about the outcome of a venture, I remember his story and I become fired up with an inner strength to continue. It has been months now since he recounted the story and I contemplated a great deal on whether or not to share such a personal story. But the more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that it should be shared in the hope that it may help others.

There are times in life when we allow anxiety or fear of the unknown to cast a shadow on our vision, when instead, we should be keeping our eyes on our destination. Harboring anxieties about what is going to happen in the next minute, the next hour, or the next day won’t make a positive difference. In fact, most times, worries and anxiety will only cause confusion and baseless fear.

Now let me share with you the lessons that I learnt from my brother’s story.

• Expect a full life

In the journey of life, there are ups and downs. The down times are going to show up whether we like it or not, but so will the up times. We have bought into the notion that life is supposed to be all roses. Maybe it is the movies or TV that has led us to think this way. If you live a full life, then you will experience great suffering but ALSO GREAT JOY. This is life and it is how it is supposed to be.

My brother in the story I told earlier had a legitimate fear of how he was going to get through the rest of his day. But a power far greater than himself already saw his “tomorrow” and made provision. It’s important to understand that challenges must come to an end, and the real peace of mind comes when you accept this.

• Don’t swim in baseless fear

Some people just look for fear, trouble and anxiety where there is none. They seem to enjoy behaving or acting like life is actually more difficult than it is (because in their minds it is unrealistic to believe that life isn’t). An example would be someone who, despite losing a job they actually hated, still gives the appearance of being really upset. Often, it is just fear that keeps a person trapped in an unfulfilling job, or perhaps a toxic relationship, and so on. Instead of “swimming” in fear, why not face the situation with equanimity and embrace the changes in your life. Do what inspires you, like reading inspirational books or listening to inspirational messages, or go out and mingle with people who have a positive outlook who can take your mind off the situation, or provide you with constructive advice. Cool headedness will most times bring about a logical evaluation of the situation.

• Divine timing

Things happen at certain times in your life that test you and allow you to grow. But there often cannot be growth without discomfort. If my brother had not trekked for over one and half hours on dirty back roads, cutting through brush and bushes in an attempt to get home, he probably would have missed the “package” that was prepared and waiting for him on his journey. Taking a bus would have definitely helped him get home faster, but then the experience and realization that there’s a higher power looking after him would have been lost. Don’t also let us forget that the “package” was supposed to be delivered at a set time.

• Hope or Fear, What’s it going to be?

I decided to write this in January because I know that many people are already fearful or anxious about 2017 and what the year will bring, whether in the area of relationships, academics, careers, or in domestic or world affairs etc.  Fear brings to the forefront negativity and hopelessness, thereby casting a shadow on your vision. While on the other hand, hope does the opposite. It gives you options, gives you peace in your heart and whispers in your ears that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Hope brings closer to you faith, which ultimately gives you peace, even in the midst of the storm. Crises, personal or otherwise, will happen, but when they do, calmly analyze your options and run toward the issues NOT away from them. CHOOSE HOPE, Not Fear!

I wish everyone a joyful, peaceful and fulfilling 2017.

Love always.